I remember like it was yesterday sitting across from a man I once knew when he uttered the words, “I want to start life over; I don’t want this.” In that moment my heart dropped and my world shattered. In that moment I knew I had to become someone different. A few weeks later, I found myself in the midst of a divorce and an opportunity to redefine my life. For some reason, I started a board on Pinterest titled “Becoming Her,” where I kept quotes on encouragement and inspiration. This board then became the hashtag I used on Facebook for a season (#becomingher). I was determined to become a better version of myself.
Who was this her? Her was me working towards becoming the woman God wants me to be mind, body, soul, and spirit! A heart of love and grace from above . What I didn’t know was me becoming her wouldn’t happen overnight or after reading a few great books. Becoming her is a continuous journey, and one I’m still on today. A journey I didn’t know I needed and one for which I didn’t sign up. On this journey I made a conscious decision to become better and not bitter. Going through a divorce sucks, but the truth is you can either stay stuck or get moving. Clearly, I choose the later and made a mental note to never become bitter. I believe in love and all that it takes.
In addition to declaring I will be better and not bitter I created a daily pattern of things I’d do to become the renewed version I saw in my head. The vision was blurry BUT it was a vision. A vision that’s still unfolding. While it unfolds I often go back to those daily checklists of confessing over myself that I am
- and much more
I wrote these confessions on my mirror so I’d face myself and speak doubt and fear out of my life. Doubt and fear of the unknown. The unknown of what would my life look like and what would become of me? How would I be viewed by my family, friends, and community? The fear of being labeled, criticized, talked about, spoken bad of; oh and the one that often crossed my mind, being labeled as a failure. All of these ideas came from a place of fear, a place I knew I didn’t want to reside; a place I knew I had to “x” out of my life.
Hence my decision to be better and not bitter. My pocket-sized journal went with me everywhere. In moments where I’d hear words of doubt and the lies spoken to me, I’d turn to it. In this journal were scriptures and confessions that would cast out fear in an instant as we know God’s word has power.
The journey to becoming isn’t always easy it’s filled with tears and hard work, but it must be done. It’s a continuous journey of reshaping and remolding. As the great Michelle Obama said…..
I encourage you to do the work. The journey is rewarding and filled with countless opportunities to grow. So I ask you what hard work are you avoiding on your journey?